jan 10, 2010

breakfast
1 cup cornflakes with 1/4 cup blueberries & 1/4 cup skim mik - 172 cals
total cals -172
lunch
4 oz tuna - 131cals
1 sm bag kosher popcorn - 130 cals
total cals - 231

starting day 1/4/10

january goals - weekly challenge: week 2

this week i'm pledging to myself that i will drink allll my water (1 gallon) and continue on with no drinking alcohol.

11th -
12th -
13th -
14th -
15th-
16th -

january goals - weekly challenge: week 1

i pledged to myself that starting on jan 4, 2010 i would not drink for one week. this is one of my healthy living goals. i don't want to be dependant on alcohol and i don't want to end up like one of my friends. i'm not trying to bad mouth her... but she doesn't want to make any changes in her life. and someone compared me to her the other day. i. almost. died.

i mean i know i'm fat but this girl looks huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge and i do not want to be compared to her. she is nothing but white trash and i don't even consider her a real friend anymore. she sleeps around, she drinks a 12 pack almost every night, she sleeps til 2 (depending on when she works she sometimes sleeps later), her house is a freaking disaster, she didn't graduate but finally got her GED about 2 years later, and she's not looking at going back to school.

and again i'm really not trying to be mean and cold-hearted... but i'm moving into a good place in my life, moving in a healthy direction with everything, making plans on having a baby. i don't need her in my life. i don't need the slutty drama or the booze every night like i was doing just a few short months ago.

but i'm really doing good with this challenge. 6 days down for the challenge and no drinking. i'm very proud of myself. it's a success and i know it. i feel it deep down in my bones.

4th - no drinking
5th - no drinking
6th - no drinking
7th - no drinking
8th - no drinking
9th - no drinking
10th - no drinking

*******OFFICIALLY COMPLETED THIS GOAL*******

random dancing

total: 60 minutes

48:56 random dancing
10 push ups
20 curls
10 flies

jan 9, 2010

brunch (breakfast/lunch)
1 grilled chicken wrap with lett, tom, & spicy mustard - 260 cals
total cals - 260
snack
1 lg tomato basil raviolini soup - 151 cals
total cals - 151
dinner
1 lg tomato basil raviolini soup - 151 cals
1 nutrigrain bar - 130 cals
total cals - 281
snack
1 cup watermelon - 46 cals
total cals - 46

daily total - 738

when the scale refuses to move

so i don't think i'm doing anything wrong. i mean i know that calories aren't always accurate (in fact they almost never are) but i've been very careful with the food choices that i've been making. and the weight is not budging. it actually went up .8 of a pound yesterday! and today, it went down .8 - so here i am - hovering at 313.

i feel a difference though. i notice my work shirts are slightly looser, in the belly area and the arms. i have more energy - not afraid to climb the stairs anymore. and i'm constantly hungry every couple hours. so i know my metabolism is kicking in. but then why is the scale not moving??

hubby said today - "you're periods coming any day now". duhhhhhh!!!! of course!!! that has to be the reason!! i mean i've watched my calories, i've exercised, i've sweated... i know i put in the effort to watch the scale move.

now are you gonna ask how my husband knows this, of all people??? well we track my period because we're trying to get pregnant. so i know now that i'm retaining because of that. i also know that about a week or two after my period, i'm ovulating - so the hunger is gonna kick in BIIIIIIG TIME!! but i'll prepare myself with plenty of goood foods for that time.

now normally i would take this as a hint that my "dieting" isn't working so i'd quit. but i know it's working! i feel it in my body. i feel it in my mind! i just. don't. see it.

but i'm not giving up or caving in. like i said before - NO MORE EXCUSES.

this is my life. and i'm making it work.